9.8.09

Watching the NDP


So I watched the National Day Parade (NDP), because I was staying home to write anyway, and I'd been told that with Ivan Heng as the parade's creative director, there were gonna be pole dancers and Koh Chieng Mun singing "I Will Survive".

As it turns out, this was all the writing I managed to do.

5:55 p.m.
Time to switch on the TV. Oh look, it's Anthony Bourdain waxing lyrical about Singapore food on Discovery Travel & Living. A very appropriate broadcast for National Day --- except that he's swigging down Heineken instead of Tiger.

5:57 p.m.
Bourdain's done; over to Channel 5 for the parade telecast. Except that before that starts at 6:15 p.m., it's the prime minister's National Day Message. Clearly, this is why the mute button was invented.

6:08 p.m.
Every time I glance up, the Prime Minister looks like he's trying really hard to perform for the camera. Which is, you know, a lose-lose proposition.

6:09 p.m.
Oh good, it's over. But I'm still muting the simpering National Day song that they're playing next.

6:20 p.m.
Everyone loves parachutists.

6:23 p.m.
There are commercial breaks in the telecast of the parade?! [Edited to add: It turns out this was the only one.]

6:26 p.m.
Good thing the sound of helicopters flying back for the parade drowns out the commercial break.

6:29 p.m.
I always like watching our politicians to see what they make of all this. Especially Uncle Lee.

6:30 p.m.
Look! Our Members of Parliament can strike a drum-like toy in sync!

Here comes the Cabinet. Do they always walk through a public area where they can deliver handshakes? Reach out and come together, yo.

6:32 p.m.
They're playing Singapura, O Singapura as Lee Kuan Yew and Goh Chok Tong enter. It's not quite the same without the rousing military fanfare.

The commentator says something like: "Lee Kuan Yew ... 85 years old ... still lending his expertise to the nation ... Goh Chok Tong, our prime minister from 1996 to 2004." Hm.

6:33 p.m.
Birthday greetings from around the world. *mute*

6:35 p.m.
Lee Hsien Loong gets what mr brown would call "ooom-ch'-ooom-ch'" music. I really miss the military fanfare.

6:39 p.m.
I heart the giant Sang Nila Utama puppet. It reminds me of that that old German Telematch TV show they showed on Channel 5 in the 1980s, with competitors in colourful costumes running around the field with joker puppets and other giant props.

6:41 p.m.
Sisu is very curious about those helicopters hovering outside.

6:42 p.m.
Sang Nila Utama looks a little, um, Caucasian.

6:43 p.m.
I also heart Singa the courtesy lion. He needs to have his own TV show. Of course, his Twitter is good too.

6:45 p.m.
"Line-dancing lion dancers" --- of course the pun is intended. Who wrote this script?

6:46 p.m.
Holy crap, in what universe is it cool to include terrorists and simulated chemical attacks in the National Day Parade? Did the parade only take half an hour to jump the shark?

6:48 p.m.
The audience looks a little dumbfounded at the simulated terrorist attack. Bring back the parachutists and Black Knights!

6:49 p.m.
Now there are Navy boats chasing "bad guy terrorists" on jetski past the Merlion. I feel like I'm at an SAF Day show, not the National Day Parade. Bring back the marching contingents and guard of honour!

6:50 p.m.
It's not exciting to watch people get chased when a) you know the inevitable outcome and b) there are no Black Knights involved.

6:51 p.m.
Ooooohhh ... Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries for the Chinooks' arrival. I am seeing Apocalypse Now in my mind.

6:53 p.m.
Underwater camera footage of the rather cool Navy divers, though they look less cool when it looks like pre-shot (not "live") footage meant for a computer game.

There are so many video clips in this "parade", I'm wondering why they didn't just make a feature film and be done with it.

6:55 p.m.
Ah, armoured vehicles rolling into the parade square. It's like an amped-up version of the 1969 parade, when Singapore rolled out its very first tanks.

6:55 p.m.
Naval divers approaching the politicians' seating area with weapons. If this were a movie with Bruce Willis, someone would be getting shot any second now.

6:56 p.m.
Stop referring to them as military "assets". It just sounds stupid.

6:58 p.m.
The SIMULATED TERRORIST ATTACK (it really merits the caps) is over. I hope they bring back the Sang Nila Utama puppet.

6:59 p.m.
Drummer boys are always cool.

7:00 p.m.
Yay, parade commander Regimental Sergeant Major! Cepat jaaaaaaaaalan!

Owwwhhhhh ... the parade contingents have to sing a cheesy song as they march in. O the indignity.

I have been reliably informed that the crazy shit happens between 7:30 and 8:15 p.m.

7:04 p.m.
The traditional marching contingent bit of the parade seems to be in full swing (and no more singing, whew). This has always been my favourite bit.

7:07 p.m.
We interrupt this perfectly delightful parade marchpast to wonder, why is there a giant eye-shaped screen looking down on everything? It's a little creepy and cult-like.

7:10 p.m.
The President arrives. He does not get "ooom-ch'-ooom-ch'" music.

7:11 p.m.
It's the Majulah and I'm too lazy to get up from the couch. Ink is standing up, though (he wants food).

7:16 p.m.
I've always wondered what small talk the President makes with the soldiers he stops to chat with in the guard-of-honour contingents.

7:19 p.m.
Talk about distortions of reality. The commentators just said President Nathan is "well-loved by every Singaporean".

7:20 p.m.
The feu de joie is one of those things better appreciated at the event itself.

7:25 p.m.
The Marina Bay venue isn't grand enough for our marching contingents.

7:28 p.m.
After the SAF marches off, comes the Singapore Civil Defence Force, then the People's Action Party, "the first of our civilian contingents," said the commentators. Hm.

Followed by SembCorp Marine. "Economic defence is what they're representing." Double-hm.

7:31 p.m.
After a slew of uniformed youth organisations, comes CapitaLand. *boggle*

7:33 p.m.
So the civilian contingents consisted of representatives of:
  • the ruling political party
  • SembCorp Marine, which is part of the government-linked company SembCorp Industries
  • a group of teenagers in the Scouts, Girl Guides, various first aid and paramilitary organisations
  • Capitaland, "one of Asia's largest real estate companies"
  • the National Trades Union Congress
What. The. You-know-what.

7:37 p.m.
Traditional dancing ensues. I never have strong feelings about this part.

7:40 p.m.
Peranakan Chinese culture "is being represented here for the first time!" Delivered by a bubbly commentator with no trace of irony.

The giant puppets in the audience are pretty cool. More Telematch, less terrorist attacks!

7:43 p.m.
There are green Barneys! (Okay, they're supposed to be crocodiles.)

7:44 p.m.
Cheesy Chinese music with psychedelic costumes. Now this is what the National Day Parade oughta be about.

7:46 p.m.
And then there were Singapore Girls and disco music. Embrace the kitsch. Pity they cut it before the line "play that funky music, white boy".

7:47 p.m.
Oooh, "Shout"!

7:48 p.m.
Music remix tracklist:
  • "Tell me what you want, what you really want"
  • "Free your mind"
  • "Everybody dance now"
  • "Macarena"
  • "Come on, vogue"
  • [Pole dancers acrobats!]
  • "I like the way you move"
And then cue old-school Uncle Lee. Perfect.

7:54 p.m.
Traditional pipa music with a modern beat and robotic dancers to represent Total Defence.

7:57 p.m.
Koh Chieng Mun does "I Will Survive" with Military Police doing their awesome gun drills around her. She should've had more airtime.

7:59 p.m.
Okay, the kids doing "When I grow up, I want to be ---" was pretty sweet.

8:00 p.m.
Uh-oh, mopey National Day songs. Time for a bathroom break.

8:04 p.m.
Wong Kan Seng has funky new glasses. Lee Kuan Yew looks --- I really wonder what's going through his mind.

All the musical medleys in the world cannot save truly crappy National Day songs from years past.

8:05 p.m.
The heart-shaped mass display formation and heart-shaped balloons floating up to the sky makes me wonder why we don't do something like this for Valentine's Day.

8:06 p.m.
An old news clip of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loon reminiscing about the very first 1966 parade. Ah, the good old days, when if you didn't have heart, you didn't have nothin'.

8:12 p.m.
A float! That's old school.

8:13 p.m.
Nice juxtaposition of sports heroes old and new, Li Jiawei (did I get the name right?) vis-a-vis Fandi.

8:15 p.m.
There's an awful lot of nostalgia in this year's video footage.

8:19 p.m.
The camera sweeps across the front row of politicians during "Stand Up for Singapore" and I'm thinking, it's an awful long time for some of them to be standing up.

8:20 p.m.
There are now so many National Day songs, the medleys can go on for more than 10 minutes and counting, even with using only short bits of each.

8:23 p.m.
When the evil eye screen flashed "The pledge --- you know the words", I really thought they were going to go through with not showing the words on the screen. After 44 years of indoctrination, people ought to know the damn pledge.

Ah, the arrangement of the National Anthem that just might be the least martial one yet.

8:25 p.m.
Clearly, fireworks are the key element to getting everyone psyched up when they take the National Pledge and sing the National Anthem.

8:28 p.m.
And we're out. I wonder if there's a giant dance party at the parade venue now. That seems appropriate.

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26.5.09

Not homesick, but ---

It's very strange to dream of being in Singapore and wake up still in Korea.

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21.4.09

A household in rebellion

The washing machine is fixed and running again, but one of my bedroom lamps has gone kaput.

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31.8.08

Do you shoot RAW or JPEG?

For all my photographer and photography-loving friends: A DSLR Catechism.

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6.8.08

Get a whiff of this

It's funny how one's fingertips still smell faintly of raw garlic two days after I chopped some.

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2.8.08

You know the weather is hot when ...

Life beyond bars

It takes me less time to use up the contents of two ice-cube trays than to make more ice.

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1.8.08

Hrm, redux

And today, it turns out that I've been misspelling "inoculate". Could've sworn it had two "n"s!

Related post: Hrm

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28.7.08

Hrm

I just typed "output" as "outpoot". This doesn't bode well for a Monday.

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22.7.08

Pure heaven

I really like the "taste" of ice-cold water, but it tastes even better after a cup of rich black coffee.

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5.7.08

Oops

It's entirely possible that I'm white.

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5.6.08

The prettiest picture of them all

A number of my friends are enamoured of the biggest drawing in the world (fake, by the way) but I'd rather have this picture of the Milky Way, please. Did I mention that one of my earliest childhood ambitions was to be an astronomer?

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26.3.08

One problem with growing up in the '80s

... is that I woke up this morning with, inexplicably, Stevie Wonder's rendition of "I Just Called To Say I Love You" in my head. And it wasn't till I was halfway through my shower that I realised it.

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20.3.08

Tired as hell

It's a strange sort of day when I typo "mind-boggling" as "mind-blogging".

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7.3.08

Someone said ...

So apparently, I am very well-preserved for my age.

Huh.

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6.3.08

An unexpected taste

It's extremely disorienting when the pork chops from a Western food stall at a hawker centre taste like Twisties (chicken flavour).

Fortunately, it wasn't my dinner.

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3.1.08

Missing the news

For some reason, Gmail has been diligently filing the BBC News' daily email alert in my Spam folder since January 1. And here I thought they were just enjoying an extended New Year's in the UK ...

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9.12.07

Is it almost midnight?

It's no fun when the work week begins on a Sunday.

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3.12.07

I love Leopard but ...

Toggling between Spaces gives me motion sickness.

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8.11.07

Rhymin' games

I typed this in an email today: "online moniker Ondine".

Now say it five times fast.

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18.10.07

Writing style

I write in Helvetica 11 point with 125% zoom on Microsoft Word. How 'bout you?

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24.9.07

Disturbed sleep

It's really not a good sign when one starts dreaming about Facebooking ...

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31.8.07

Of all the ...

I thought I got a splinter in my foot --- but it was a whisker from my cat!

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22.8.07

I have a bad earworm

Blame it on the iCommons party I attended last night, but I woke up with an insipid mash-up of Garbage's "When I Grow Up" with Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark's "Enola Gay".

And it won't go away.

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19.8.07

Not the coolest thing to do, I'm aware ...

But is anyone going to be watching the National Day Rally at 8 pm so that we can heckle it together online?

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Saturday night spelling bee

Not since I was a pre-teen have I needed to be sure I got the spelling of "hippopotamus" right ... and I almost had to use "hippopotami".

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16.8.07

Because anything can be a song

Everyone needs to go listen right now to the Barenaked Ladies' "Testing 1, 2, 3" (recorded at a concert in Lexington, Kentucky in 2004).

It's nice when Last.fm makes me laugh in the middle of clearing work email.

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Shortchanging myself

I have been madly scrambling to get all sorts of work done because I thought I had only two weeks between returning from Ho Chi Minh City and jetting off again --- but it turns out that I cannot read a calendar properly, because in fact I have three weeks.

Now I can breathe again.

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2.8.07

Off to a party

--- at which I will be the oldest person there other than the host's parents.

I'm not sure what stage of life this marks, but it has to mark something (other than impending dotage).

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1.8.07

Fast food frustration

Sometimes I eat at MOS Burger, and then I wish I'd taken a few steps more and eaten at Burger King instead.

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26.7.07

Crabby when hungry

Now that's a warning label I should come with.

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18.7.07

Flavours

I had two kiwifruit after lunch and now I can't wash the tang out of my mouth.

Oh wait, a mouthful of fresh black coffee just did the trick.

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13.6.07

Things I wanted to Twitter yesterday

... but didn't have the time or internet connection to.

$83.94 for a new remote control for the airconditioner??

Despite all the construction and new traffic, pockets of Portsdown Road are still very pretty.

Nothing like almost choking to breathlessness on a miscplaced gulp of water to add a little perspective to one's day.

People who screw up one's dinner (namely Suzie's) should offer at least a free dessert to atone. (Sun With Moon Cafe, if anyone wants to know. Good food and service, except for the part where they screwed up).

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30.5.07

I'm a weak-minded fool and you're all sly, crafty old rats, redux

Previous post here.

No time to blog.

So I Twitter. Do you?

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11.4.07

Welcome back

Ah, swollen lymph node, how I've missed you.

Not.

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9.3.07

Bah

How can I be so tired even after 8 hours of solid sleep?

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19.2.07

First day hiccups

I'm not sure that it's good luck for the New Year to be standing by the roadside and repeatedly muttering, "Where the fuck are all the cabs?"

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4.1.07

Gobsmacked

So it turns out that in this era when the word "Google" has evolved from a search engine to a brand name to a bona fide verb in the dictionary, there are people my age who still use Yahoo to search.
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24.11.06

The mirror doesn't lie

I have white hairs!!!

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13.11.06

They will blow your mind

"Fruity Oaty Bars" is the best cell phone ringtone ever.

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29.10.06

My mom was right

It's too hot in Singapore to wear this shirt, even in the semi-airconditioned environment of a Halloween party.

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18.10.06

A meeting of minds

It's very thrilling to unexpectedly meet someone who not only appreciates Beautiful Girls as much I do, but once we get started on it, both of us immediately quote the same line: "Romeo and Juliet, the dyslexic version."

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9.10.06

Too soon for comfort

Sometimes I see the preview trailer for World Trade Center on TV and I think, no, I'm not ready to watch that yet. No, not even the trailer.

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4.10.06

It's an epidemic

Even restrooms have to look funky now

If I see another "hip" and "funky" restroom, I'm going to vomit.

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3.10.06

Oktoberfest!

Oktoberfest! Oktoberfest! Flat and stacked

Beer.
Barflies.
Banter.
*burp*

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23.9.06

No memory

How sad is it that even after looking up both Terz's and my blogs, and reviewing my credit card records from last December, both of us have absolutely no recollection of how we celebrated his birthday last year.

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22.9.06

TGIF!

There's no better to start a Friday evening than to have a delightful colleague come in at 6 pm bearing well-powdered doughnut holes from Four Leaves Bakery for everyone.

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Who knew?

So it seems that when people who only know my first name find out about my double-barrelled five-syllable last name, their instinctive reaction is to think it's either a lie or a pen name of some kind.

Weird.

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21.9.06

Poo (literally)

Nothing like stepping in dog shit to wreck one's day.

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20.9.06

In case you didn't know

This is the best blog to follow what's going on in Thailand right now.

Well, until Cowboy Caleb goes home, anyway.

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8.9.06

Still tapping away here

It is entirely apt that as the clock chimes 1:28 am and I start on a final piece of work (deadline: tomorrow), my iTunes on shuffle mode selects New Order's "Working Overtime", followed by the Postal Service's "The District Sleeps Tonight."

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5.9.06

Note to self

Consume coffee immediately after lunch in order to kickstart work for the afternoon, rather than zombie virtuously through the afternoon and capitulate to the coffee craving only at 5 pm, by which time several productive hours have been wasted.

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20.8.06

I need a WorkSpace

Will someone please hurry up and develop one of these for Singapore already, please? Tankyu.

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31.7.06

The not-so-cute side of having a cat

Ink just killed and ate a cockroach.

I'm torn between glee and revulsion.

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25.7.06

Argh

I would like a glass of wine and a cigarette right now, please. Thank you.

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30.6.06

Mid-morning snack

It is a very strange thing to be eating Khong Guan biscuits, while researching the founders of the Khong Guan Company.

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3.6.06

*burp* says my fridge. Or maybe *vomit*

This one's for kk.

I have just thrown out the char siew baos from our Crystal Jade feast way back when.

Oops.

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Related Posts: The kind of kitchen I keep, I am not a housewife, My fridge is 80% chocolate

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15.5.06

I just wanted to say ...

... That there are many cute young Canadian men in the office today.

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Go watch

ampulets reviews The Last Communist, which I saw last week, and as usual says it much better than I can.

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5.5.06

Good morning

This morning, I opened the door to leave our apartment for work, and in the first burst of pre-rain fresh breeze, everything smelled of Vancouver.

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4.5.06

Seeing stars

Some nights, I plan to blog, have pictures and a draft post and everything --- and then it's 3:52 am by the time I send my last deadline-non-negotiable work email and you know what? It's time for bed.

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21.4.06

How to beat a rebellious nose into submission

Embarrass it by going public with its recalcitrant behaviour.

Today I'm much better.

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14.4.06

Why everyone should keep disassembled fans around

So that the cat has a playground to rummage around in.

Why everyone should keep disassembled fans around

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22.3.06

Can't win 'em all

Some days I am geek girl. Other days, like today, I need to download a video in order to figure out how to remove the cover on my cellphone so that I can reset it.

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20.3.06

The simple things

I'm not sure if I'm getting cat-like tendencies, but I really like the feel of the office carpet under my feet and have taken to padding barefoot whenever I'm up and about from my desk.

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13.3.06

Why you should be nice to your friends in primary school

Because they may turn up many years later as the wife of your boss!

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7.3.06

Revelation of the day

So apparently, I am a Senior Researcher and Script Editor.

It's nice when other people make up nice-sounding titles for the work I do.

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2.3.06

On a completely different note

Epicurious has the best iced tea in Singapore.

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16.2.06

I've always liked a good storm

It never rains.

But it sure the hell pours.

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9.2.06

Well, now

It occurs to me that I really suck at interviews.

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8.2.06

Damn.

How on earth did I miss the news that Betty Friedan died last Saturday?

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9.1.06

I know some people are rich but ---

--- Who the hell goes into Watson's (a local drugstore) and tries to use a $1,000 bill to pay at the cashier?!

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18.12.05

The season of love

Christastrophe's said it all: The taste of love is sweet / When hearts like ours meet.

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15.12.05

Who, me?

I have just been described by someone who's known me for ten years as 'free-spirited'.

Now that's a first.

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4.12.05

Status check

I have been telling everyone I'm imminently unemployed. I like the way the phrase rolls off my tongue --- for now.

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